What Have I Learned Up To Today

I have learned that everyone has something to give!

I have learned that making someone smile is priceless!

I have learned that I am a "lovey".

I also know that a dog that has rolled on a dead animal days ago still needs a bath even after being cleaned with a wash cloth. Skylar still stinks!

I have learned that I have hope, not just for myself, but for others!

I have learned that it is ultimately up to me to do something. (that one sucks)

I have learned that including someone is the true sign of being a friend.

I have learned that "Paying it Forward" is much better than just "Paying it Back"!!!!

I have learned that life is precious, all life. (That simple)

I have learned that an insult is not forgiven by a compliment.

I have learned to ASK.

And Most Important.

LOVE!

What do People Really Think

I am one of those who thinks that everyone is thinking about me at all times. (Yes, i am an egomaniac.) Too bad i think that everyone is think about me in a negative way. I do not think that about others, i honestly only see the good in others and never really think about their faults. Now why does everyone persecute me in their minds, but not me. Do you go around thinking negatively about others, probably not. How did i get this idea in my head?

My self esteem is not very high. You might mind it under a rock or in a hole, but not atop a mountain. Most people are so self absorbed that they rarely think about others, especially ones that they do not know. My opinions, and probably yours too, do not revolve around others. If i am not talking to someone in class i do not even think that they are there. I do not revolve my life around making their thoughts all about me and making all their thoughts good. People are selfish and mainly think about themselves, just as we are thinking about ourselves as we are thinking about what others are thinking about us.

We all need to be the best person we can be, and realize we are all human and make mistakes. We all need to lower our hair and be who we are. Even Jesus had enemies.

I want to apologize for the infrequent blogs. But this revelation will be worth it. It is a duet of fixing things. A self question and a foot step down the journey of peace.

What are your passions? What things make you live?

Kids, pets, spouse, friends?

As the pictures of "The Girls" show, you can't say the Catahulla isn't cute, and the lab, well, she is special, like her dad. A little crazy and skiddish, but just as big a lover as anything. My friends, words can't describe how wonderful these people are. They have carried me through hell, lifted me out of the holes I've dug, and wiped my tears. And for my son, who gave me the life I have to give back to my friends and the world.

These are the reasons I fight. These are the reasons I now can live. I have found a purpose to my life. The unconditional love I have for my son, I am trying to give to the world by giving it to everyone I meet. I hope that I am doing that. I hope that I am a loving example, like my friends have been.

What is your inspiration for life? Standing in a window and feeling the sun on your face, smiling at a dog with it's head out of the window of a car, seeing a child play?

We each need to find what gives us life, what makes us live. We then can start doing things we need to do because we have a reason to keep fighting.

Allies

Someone or something on your side. Sounds fairly straight forward, but in the world of people with depression, it isn't. (I am going to make this as positive as possible, but I am kinda jaded on this subject, as well are most of you.) We look for people to help us and support us in a very hard time. We look for others not to judge and not to condemn us for what we have little control over.

The relationship I have with my father is not good, not social, not cordial, it is just shitty. He tries to control almost every aspect of my life even though he has no control over it. Nothing I say or do is correct. Example: He asked me an electrical question the other day, I work on electronics on airplanes so I might know something, but my answer was wrong!?! Why ask a question that you know the answer to? Anyway, that is a more social experience with him.

I realize that friends do want to help us, but they usually lack the understanding of the situation or condition. I am thankful that until recently, I did not have anyone to talk to about this because they lived it. I do not want anyone to suffer like I have. (But I would rather suffer than talk to my father about anything). As I found out, by loosing all of my friends at times, is that people can not accept what this is and do not know how to process it. I have even had one friend say that they did not believe in psychology and that I should stop feeling this way. Utter misery, that is the mood I was going for. I enjoy feeling like shit each and every day.

The best advice I have on friends and family, is be understanding that they haven't gone through this and can not fully understand what we are feeling. We each need to find someone that can say that they have to take a break. Caution, this is not always the case. Sometimes they pass that point in trying to help, and hurt themselves. The discussion boards are probably the best way for us to express ourselves and get support from others who understand. I know that this is a major issue in our lives, having someone to trust and help us when we fall.

And on a personal note, it is a great joy for me to help the people that I am, but I know my limitations. Do not help someone so much you are brought down too, then two not one needlessly suffer.