As I knew, the pain would slowly go away, and it did. I'm not 100% but I keep fighting these isolated feeling and it will work.

I guess now the rest of the acorn can come out. This little seed from such a majestic tree will turn into a reminder for me for the rest of my life. I know that trees all around me that remind me of my Faith. I do realize that Great Brittan is lacking in them, but it is a tree. I am not asking you to only find faith in people with over 1,000,000 euros. Look around and see what brings you happiness. A dog with its head hanging its head from a window cures me of the worst mood.

We need different stimuli to effect us unlike all the "normal" people. The same ones who let their kids run around in public and threaten them with punishment. They grow up to put people down with no fear of the consequences (us). The "normal" people who drive the nice cars and think that when we look at the car we are looking at them. (those people have too much self esteem and think we care about them and their car). The most miserable man I knew was the richest, no one wanted him for his knowledge, but for his money. A shell of a man.

Each of us that reaches out for help knows we need others to help us through something these people could not survive, and those of us who reach out do something that none of these people would do because they won't take the time to understand our situations. It seems to me that we are more human than the anonymous people in our lives. We all have strengths, and the ones that we show to humanity seem to be much better than the anonymous people living superficial lives.

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p.s. I was still hurting today and even into the night when a friend asked me to play cards. playing cards couldn't stop the feeling dragging me down like an anchor.

It did. I started to smile again and feel better about myself and the situation I was in.

I still miss those feelings that she brought me, but I don't allow them to swallow me . I realize that they are there in Brydan and look at my trees, it brings a solace that nothing can take from me. I am going to be fine and the smile will get bigger from this!